May 2013
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kingofbear:
when someone says their eyes change colour
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To be or not to be? Bitch I might be
– William Shakespeare (via morgan-freemans-voice)
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niallhortonhearsawho:
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
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whorville:
I’m trying to get back to my original weight of 6 pounds and 11 ounces
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